Over the past two days I have noticed a pattern in my media usage. Pattern number 1: I have used Facebook more frequently than any other form of medium and I’m not the only one according to http://www.usatoday.com/tech/wireless/2010-02-04-teensonline04_ST_N.htm. I, like many others, have spent hundreds of minutes perusing what my peers were doing. The oddest thing I have noticed, upon closer scrutiny, is that the “friends” I have been looking at aren’t really my friends. Another pattern I noticed was that I was inclined to blog when I was happiest. In these moments I have wanted to brag publically about something. The final pattern I’ve noticed is that Facebook has been the place I have gone to when I’ve been feeling the most insecure, when I have wanted someone to pay attention to my woes. Why have these patterns formed? Has it been because I’ve truly wanted someone to pay attention to me? The answer is yes. I have done exactly what is described in this article: http://faculty.las.illinois.edu/csandvig/classes/my_so-called_blog.pdf. When I have been feeling happy I have wanted my enemies to know it. In juxtaposition to that, when I have been feeling upset I have wanted sympathy. It has been odd to realize that this form of medium, this Facebook, has been my fast food. The more I have felt unhappy with Facebook and myself, the more I have gone back and participated in it again. I have repeated this unsatisfying cycle because I’ve truly believed I could hopefully receive a more pleasing response if I phrased the problem or joy differently, maybe more dramatically. Overall my media usage has been greatly affected by my varying intense moods. I see that this pattern and, most importantly, this computerized, impersonal manner of sharing my intense emotions, is something to pay close attention to in the future, because these were clearly the worst times to be blogging.